Some of my personal favorite lyrics:
🎵
—
Broken all the pieces I've been shaping lately
Focused on the things that didn't make no sense
Guess that growing up was never meant to be easy
—
🎵
—
I went down a road that only got me nowhere
I've seen every corner, every inch of this place
Being all alone it really got me thinking, maybe overthinking
—
Although Maximillian is talking about the mistakes and bad decisions that he’s made in his past, I also feel sometimes when life’s not going the way you imagine it to be, or when life isn’t making sense and you feel lost, you got to break down all the things that you know up to that point of your life before you can have a new start and gain a new perspective. Because, like they say, if you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result, that’s insanity and you won’t be able to grow from that.
And sometimes being all alone is the exact thing you need to grow. In this current world that’s constantly filled with new content every single second that’s screaming for your attention, you barely got time to think, let alone overthink (although it’s probably not a problem if you’re an overthinker by nature I suppose).
Thinking in peace without having to worry that the world will run and left you behind is, in my opinion, a luxury. Being able to stay still is something that you have to intentionally choose to do. And admittedly, it’s scary being alone with your most honest inner thoughts because sometimes (most of the time, really), every single emotions within you that you usually numbed down with the distractions of this world will bubble up to the surface.
And then, you’ll actually feel.
It’ll be intense and uncomfortable and (sometimes) painful because the only thing you’re focusing on is your feelings. But if you’re brave enough to face your own fears and be honest with your feelings, it’ll also give you a sense of clarity about what you want and what you need in your life.
Growing up is a never ending process that we’ll have to go through all of our life and it’s certainly not easy.
🎵
—
Oh, but what is lost ain't gone
No, you can't just let go
'Cause it's a part of you that will make you strong
Embrace your flaws
—
I believe every bad decisions, mistakes, sadness, pain, anger and heartbreaks in your past certainly made you who you are today. I know people usually say you should let all the negative things that has happened in your life go and forget about it. Although I do believe in letting things go, I also believe that letting things go doesn’t mean that you have to forget all about it because sometimes, things that happened to us will keep us humble, grounded and in touch with the reality of this world. They teach us to be smarter, to be better, and to be stronger.
Every bad decisions, mistakes, sadness, pain, anger and heartbreaks in your past certainly made you who you are today, but they certainly don’t define your future.
🎵
—
I'm not gonna fight back what I've become
Yeah, I've got bruises where I came from
I've been going way too hard on myself
Guess that it's the reason I've been feeling like hell
But I wouldn't change if I could restart
I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars
—
Being a perfectionist and an idealist at heart, embracing my flaws is something that I’m still learning to do. It took me a quite while to accept that as much as I want to do good, sometimes I fell short because I’m a mere imperfect human. And it’s okay to have flaws because it makes me human. I took me even longer to realize that sometimes I really do go way too hard on myself (and yes, it’s definitely one of the reason why it felt like hell during those times).
Have I embraced my flaws fully? No, not really. I still have to make a conscious decision to do it every single time. But now, I think it gets a little easier for me. Especially when I have people around me who’s letting me be vulnerable and, well, imperfect. People who accept my flaws with nothing but listening ears and silent understanding. People who teaches me how to go easier on myself and love myself a little more. I’m thankful for those people.
One thing that I fully agree with this song is that every single one of these beautiful (battle) scars that I have, have made me who I am today.
Would I change anything if I could restart?
Honestly?
Probably.
There are some painful chapters in my life that I wish I never gone through. But then again, if I skipped those chapters, I probably won’t be who I am today now, am I?
